Hello? Hamster?

BLOG ADVICE TO AA FROM SAA (redux)

• Don’t forget to punctuate all of this with more statements about how hugely your VIEWER STATS are rising with every passing second, how they have all made you famous, and you couldn’t pay for that kind of publicity so you thank them.

• This will make them feel foolish and, of course, prove to them that they have been outsmarted. That works especially well if you begin informing them that THIS is what you expected all along, that you orchestrated the whole thing just to expose them and their evil scheming, and that they have played right into your hands and showed the world who they truly are.

Recall reading that? Can't you pay the slightest bit of attention?

Oh. Wait. You DID. You followed my blogging prowess advice and blah-blahed on and on about stats.

Clearly, you no more understand the concept of satire in writing than you do acerbic comment. This latter you have confused with plain old vitriol - a bit like a teenager with her knickers in a bunch.

For the love of teeny tiny goats!

The ego of the blogger  Absurdia is only surpassed by her idiotude.

Picture this, precious: 

Tapping on your forehead as I say it slowly and carefully…

HELLO?? Are you in there? Is there anyone at home?....tap tap tap… 

I can SEE the wheel turning but am not sure the hamster is home….tap tap….Hello??

Good….a little spark of life…now listen carefully, fool…

STATS and VIEWS do NOT equal adoration and approval.

Now do carry on. Just try to make sure all your oars are in the water, 

because you are going round in circles somewhat.

Pillock.

I am sitting here laughing at how vehemently this Absurdia protests she is loved: if it wasn’t so funny that she constantly claims this, it would be tragically pathetic.

I am not bothering to go back to the drawing board on all this, Absurdia – because I know you know I know who you are – and it IS only a matter of moments, really, before this is conclusive.

Toddling off to chortle….