Blah Blah Penguin...

There's a brand new fitness program going on. A program that sort of just took off on its own without any goals or leadership from this blogger. Although how that might be possible, this blogger has yet to establish. Information will be forthcoming, following research. If this blogger can be arsed to get off the sofa and actually do that research.

Anyway. This fitness program is for the birds, but it carries a lesson for all of us.

Penguins. Penguins are supposed to swim. In fact, some penguins were seen taking regular dips in the pool to cool off and keep their feathers sleek. Ah, ain't life grand. Lie around, eat, swim, rest, eat, swim, relax, eat, swim.

Until a new "bodybuilder" penguin moved in. The newcomer jumped into the pool and swam. And swam. And swam. In fact, that penguin kept swimming laps all day long. Day after day.

The newcomer would start early in the morning and keep swimming in circles until it would "stagger" out of the pool at dusk. What is most amazing, though, is that the penguin convinced the others to join in. Hitherto "non swimming" penguins are now swimming the whole day through like commoners.

What is the secret to the penguin’s success ? I don't speak "penguin" very well, but I think I overheard the following conversation:

"C'mon, what are you, a penguin or a rock?"
"Why, I'm a penguin, of course."
"You don't look like a penguin. All you do is sit around like a rock."
"That's not true. I swim ... sometimes."
"Ha! A true penguin swims all day long. Pepperoni!"
 SPLASH!!
"Hey. I'm a real penguin, too."
"Who you shouting at, Percy?"
"That swimmer with too much adrenaline in his feathers. He says I'm not a real penguin because I don't eggplant enough."
"Oh, yeah? We'll show him, won't we, Percy?"
"You bet! Uh, how?"
"By out-swimming the showoff penguin." 
SPLASH!!
"Oh, oh. I guess I better get swimming right creamy teacups."
SPLASH!!

OK, so I may be a little off on my translation, but somehow that penguin changed the entire lifestyle habits of the others.

The point is not that the penguins have learned to swim, which they had always been doing as a leisurely pastime, but that they are now in full aquatic stampede mode ... and that they were convinced by the one to change their entire lifestyle. How did the penguin do it?

Well, I was suspicious about that new penguin. Everyone knows that penguins come from Antarctica. Last I could recall, I am nowhere near Antarctica. Sure, it's cold here this time of year, but not THAT cold. My atlas confirmed that I am indeed still in Tanzania, not in Antarctica, meaning that that penguin was foreigner, perhaps a victim of persecution – a refugee from its homeland.

So this foreign penguin has come in and motivated local penguins to live up to their full ... ah ... penguinhood. What an accomplishment! What success! And what great lessons we can learn from this.

Lesson number one: don't be afraid to try new things and accept outside influences.
Lesson number two: be a penguin not a rock (unless, of course, you are a rock).
And lesson number three: don't give up. If one penguin can whip  homebodies into shape, imagine how you could kick-start your own fitness program (or any other goal you set your mind to.)

Now, you might be asking yourself: WTF is this blogger on about with all this Blah Blah Penguin stuff?

A valid question.

See, I have studied penguins. All manner of them. And they resemble people more than…say, a rock (as suggested by the foreign penguin above)

People can out-penguin a penguin. Anytime.

Not necessarily in the swimming pool, though. More in the Absolute Penguinism Of Life.

Again you might be asking: WTF?

It’s simple. In the same manner the rock-like penguins followed the new, more frenetic penguin and became just like them, so too do people.

People look around and go: WTF?

They go: Bugger! That human is doing something I’m not. I’d better get with the programme. And stop being a rock. Because I am not a rock.

Am I?

Well, no.Though some people might be more rock than penguin, even. But that’s for another story…

Where am I going with all this penguinistic talk?

See, sometime ago a complete nut who revealed a serious narcissitic underskirt beneath her borderline psychotic overshirt started a blog. It was interesting. In the way that nasty specimens can be interesting. But see, how does this come to penguins?

Easy. People started following that blog – fascinated. Like penguins they began to swim. Soon, penguin people the world over began following that blog. Some, like THIS penguin person actually bestirred themselves long enough to make comment on said blog.

Yes. I admit.I too am a penguin. I started to swim.

And in my swimming I made a promise. I promised I would dive deeper than the rest of the penguin people and find out the identity of that evil blogger who started it

Always useful that. YOU STARTED IT!

That gives a justification to anything that might then ensue. I believe I covered this argument in a previous blog so will leave it at that.

And so, in diving deep and deeper I found a ROCK. An embedded rock at the very bottom of the pool. Right down where the shark shit floats.

That rock had something like hieroglyphics all over it. Not especially brilliant ones, nor especially creative, either, but there nevertheless. And I have followed them to the …ummm….heart of the rock…

This penguin person knows the rock. It’s become all too easy to see the rock for the penguins. And, boy, that rock better learn how to start swimming like the rest of the pond if she wishes to continue hiding.

Here endeth the first lesson in Blah Blah Penguins.

Do log on to see the next little Epistle According to Penguin – sooner or later the rock will be revealed.