...how long it would take you - or one of your minions to give you the comment - to sit up on your back legs and remark on my last post...or for you to creatively allow for yourself an in from which to cast all manner of aspersion in the next few weeks. (as ever, you are pleasingly predictable.)
Funny thing, Absurdia? My "popularity" has increased exponentially since this little contretemp with you..surpassed only by the quality of the company I keep. No longer having to deal with the revolting few - those uncouth, ill-bred, bottle throwing, face punching, swearing, drunken, fall-downs is such a relief. Really. It is.
And even more amusing is a rather racy little story I have to tell about a foreign fellow who hangs about with one of the above mentioned riff-raff...
...but that's for next time.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
How I feel about being a pariah.....
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
You ask so sweetly it obliges me to answer.
Do I feel like a pariah in this town?
Nope.
I know you won't want to believe this - and that doesn't matter to me, really - BUT...
... the ONLY people treating me as such are those with whom I would far rather not have to socialise, anyway. And it is a VERY, VERY small group - those who lack social filters and graces, punch people, belt them about the head with their fists and bottles, have brain waves which fall a little short of the beach and drink themselves into "ugly stupid" - repeatedly and hilariously.
Do I give a remote rat's arse about this kind of person considering me a pariah?
Not on your nelly. In truth? I am grateful. Social mores require I try to mingle and play nice with all sorts...and I do make the effort. I really do.
Now? I thank the god of social castes that the "great unwashed" don't want to gravitate in my general direction.
By the way, Absurdia?
Whatever is eating at you - must be suffering horribly.
please please please...
YAAAAAAWWWWWWWN
Thanks, Absurdia - so desperate are you for some sensible comment on your bloody awful blog that you visit mine and then use that style for which you are fast becoming infamous....
CUT'NPASTE
you take MY blog and post it as comments on YOUR blog....
Commenting on your blog? - been there, done that.
Now I chose to work differently...
And YOU play right into it - every time a coconut.
EVERYthing comes out in the end...believe me.
See you in court, trollface.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
You have the potential, Absurdia, to be more…you just need help. Seriously.
So. I took almost four months off – a sabbatical of sorts.
One grows weary of the same old same old same old…
I start reading Absurdia’s rants again. What do I find? More
of the same old same old same old…
The Urban Dictionary proves most useful when trying to put a
finger on the style employed by this idiot:
1. Boringator: Someone who is a
boring bastard! Concoction of the word came from the film ‘The
Terminator”…Terminate + or=…You see where I am going with this…?
2. Boringly: The act of something being done in a boring
way.
3. Boring: Not amusing; agonizingly dull…
4. Unimaginative / Predictable: lacking in original thought; uncreative.
Sometimes a result of pent up sexual frustration after
months of inactivity.
Which, given the state of mind of AA, is PREDICTABLE. Because someone so wrapped up in self can only be a horrid and BORING lay.
Which, given the state of mind of AA, is PREDICTABLE. Because someone so wrapped up in self can only be a horrid and BORING lay.
Every time I read another of Absurd Arusha’s posts I hope it has turned into “good reading” show.
Sadly, it does not.
It’s ALWAYS more of the
same old same old same old…
It’s ALWAYS like some vast exercise in some weird CUT ‘N PASTE style of blogging. With only the odd
name, face or place changed periodically.
The plot is ALWAYS the same. Porn. More porn. Change some names. More porn. Stick a
new face on more porn. Say something about someone being gay. More porn. Change
a place. Stick with porn. Or someone being gay. Oh! Add more porn. And being
gay….
God!
If ever there was a BORINGATOR it’s Absurdia.
But, as ever, I am here to assist.
I have expended a great dealof energy before
trying to help this idiot make sure she writes solid blog posts.
It hasn't helped. Evidently. She persists. * see above…
So, here is my next best effort at helping the poor, sad
fool: Let’s consider all of this nutter’s rants and make them into a Sitcom
scenario…
The first episode of the first season had potential.
Exceeding small, admittedly, but there.
Since then it's gone down a very steep hill.
I witness a myriad of problems, but I think they all come
back to the writing.
This is a poorly written blog / show, with predictable plots, contrived (and predictable) rants, and obnoxious assertions. There are a few, VERY few, shining moments. So few, in fact, that I am hard-pressed to count them on the hand of a complete finger-amputee.
This is a poorly written blog / show, with predictable plots, contrived (and predictable) rants, and obnoxious assertions. There are a few, VERY few, shining moments. So few, in fact, that I am hard-pressed to count them on the hand of a complete finger-amputee.
And I want this "Absurdic show" to be good. I really do.
This is the golden age of blogging. There is so much brilliant stuff to
read on the WWW. And yup, I want a "cool" ABSURDIA BLOG / show too.
But this is just so NOT a cool blog / show. This is a mess.
And I'm not saying it needs to follow Mein Kampf or the comics,
which are also meandering and plagued by long stretches of boring. It just
needs some good writing so that I don't find myself exasperated by the
boring-ness of it all...
I don't know how much of the blog in
question has been….ummm….pre-conceived and will continue to suffer from
predictability. But as an avid blog reader I do have some suggestions on
how to make Absurdia’s blog / show more engaging.
Stop
with all the monologues
At least 4 million times per blog,
everything grinds to a halt so Absurdia can tell her version of a story, or
relay some information, or give an impassioned rant.
I get that an idiot like AA sees her blog as some kind of apocalypse, but there needs to be less repetition of the same old same old same old... - with that CUT’N PASTE style of providing information used less exhaustively..
I get that an idiot like AA sees her blog as some kind of apocalypse, but there needs to be less repetition of the same old same old same old... - with that CUT’N PASTE style of providing information used less exhaustively..
Hire
a Psychiatrist to assist with your plot
You are, my dear, a caricature.
You have made yourself into someone who can be depended upon to: rant all the time ( not for any real reason, but so there can be tension in lieu of “character” development), employ your own odd brand of CUT “N PASTE, use the same tired old lines – all of which do little else but show your burgeoning psychoses.
You have made yourself into someone who can be depended upon to: rant all the time ( not for any real reason, but so there can be tension in lieu of “character” development), employ your own odd brand of CUT “N PASTE, use the same tired old lines – all of which do little else but show your burgeoning psychoses.
You need help. And not just from me
as your writer mentor. From a doctor. In a white coat. Who can help you with
drugs other than those of your own ministration. And, one can only hope,
somehow …somehow bring you into a more plausible and rational frame of mind so
that what you blog is not so interminably PREDICTABLE.
Give
CUT ‘N PASTE a break
I know I addressed this problem already, but this really
deserves special mention: You are reprehensible. Your “plot” is reprehensible.
Everything you say is reprehensible. It's ALWAYS the same old same old same old SAME.
YOU may well have some hair up your arse about the world at large – whilst you yourself are some lovely, perfectly formed crusader – but , Lord, are you predictable!
YOU may well have some hair up your arse about the world at large – whilst you yourself are some lovely, perfectly formed crusader – but , Lord, are you predictable!
And that is BORING.
You babble on about how much you hate …you are
angry at …he’s gay…she’s lesbian….add some more porn. USE CUT ‘N PASTE. More
porn…..more hate…. CHRIST! Unless the goal of your blog
character is to, in fact, show your irrationality and morbid fixation with
things sexual, please give the same old same old same old CUT ‘N BLOODY PASTE pattern of comment a
break. For once.
Give
your PROTAGONISTS something to do other than be black
In other words – who died and made
you the MESSIAH FOR AFRICANS?
All your African characters are
either a) standing in the background and not speaking for themselves or b) shut
down with your PREDICTABLE sodding "Cut ‘n paste some more porn / gay / lesbian and so on"... ad nausem attacks when they DO use their own voices and contradict you.
Sad, Absurdia. Very, very sad.
Address your blog’s massive logical fault
(This one comes with a SPOILER
ALERT).
I refuse to believe that not a single person with an opinion differing from yours,(save for the SOLITARY glowing blog post you wrote on an individual who-shall-nameless-but-everyone-knows-who-anyway), deserves some sort of positive comment. You treat people / comments as if they are all complete arseholes. Especially if they contradict you.
I refuse to believe that not a single person with an opinion differing from yours,(save for the SOLITARY glowing blog post you wrote on an individual who-shall-nameless-but-everyone-knows-who-anyway), deserves some sort of positive comment. You treat people / comments as if they are all complete arseholes. Especially if they contradict you.
I call bullshit on that. That's
weak. And it doesn't make a great deal of sense.
It may be that there is a very good,
logical explanation for all of this.
We need to hear it. Because otherwise YOU, Absurdia, are showing contempt (and massive lack of logic) for everyone and everything, save yourself, by pole-vaulting logic in favour of an emotional payoff.
Mind you, that contempt you show might well be all you are about...refer back to the point re: Psychiatrist.
We need to hear it. Because otherwise YOU, Absurdia, are showing contempt (and massive lack of logic) for everyone and everything, save yourself, by pole-vaulting logic in favour of an emotional payoff.
Mind you, that contempt you show might well be all you are about...refer back to the point re: Psychiatrist.
Stop
making your characters do stupid, illogical things in every blog
The whole thing is pretty funny.
When one separates your blogs from what is acceptable and rational
behaviour as a whole, one does begin to see just how funny you are.
Sadly funny. But amusing, nevertheless. You stand as “The
World's worst example of problem solving”, ever.
Every single blog (save one) you write robs the moment of
any tension.Because each and every one is the SAME.
And really? The only way your writing could be worse is if all your “characters” stood in a circle hitting each other with bricks. When you put other people in a completely illogical situation to give the illusion that something, in your bizarre and warped perception, is happening - that's lazy writing.
And really? The only way your writing could be worse is if all your “characters” stood in a circle hitting each other with bricks. When you put other people in a completely illogical situation to give the illusion that something, in your bizarre and warped perception, is happening - that's lazy writing.
Shame on you. When you have the potential to be so much
more...
Which brings me to another Urban Dictionary definition of
what the net result of your response to this blog will be:
1. Pedantic: The
nitpickery… that drives the... insane...often mistaken as a
tool to impress others when in fact it is annoying
As in: I love it when you dominate our conversations through
critiquing my word usage and completely avoiding the central arguments, you
pedantic fuck.
Here endeth today’s lesson – please do stand by for more
exercises on how not to be so bloody boring. You have the potential, Absurdia,
to be more…you just need help. Seriously.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Frequent "Flyer" Notice...
Seriously, folks?
I ought to run some sort of Frequent "flyer" voucher system for my Cybernet Wireless and Habari visitors (specifically) - like Win A Free ISP Routing Identity System. Or something.
Actually. You already have that.
A free ISP routing identity system. In that I can "see" you when you visit. Cool. huh?
Will have to think of something else to provide you with 'cos you visit my site so often. Give me a moment here...
Ok.
Here you go: You can win a Free Join-The-Dots Information system.
Wait! You have THAT from me already. Stymied....
hmmmmmm.
Here's an interesting tidbit of information (whilst I think of a "reward")
Cocaine is frequently laced with another drug that's commonly used to deworm opossums. Levamisole, a veterinary drug, is linked to serious weakening of the immune system in humans. Here's the real funny part: no one knows why.
I ought to run some sort of Frequent "flyer" voucher system for my Cybernet Wireless and Habari visitors (specifically) - like Win A Free ISP Routing Identity System. Or something.
Actually. You already have that.
A free ISP routing identity system. In that I can "see" you when you visit. Cool. huh?
Will have to think of something else to provide you with 'cos you visit my site so often. Give me a moment here...
Ok.
Here you go: You can win a Free Join-The-Dots Information system.
Wait! You have THAT from me already. Stymied....
hmmmmmm.
Here's an interesting tidbit of information (whilst I think of a "reward")
Cocaine is frequently laced with another drug that's commonly used to deworm opossums. Levamisole, a veterinary drug, is linked to serious weakening of the immune system in humans. Here's the real funny part: no one knows why.
I'm now bored. So the Reward for Visiting So Often will have to wait. But panic not...I have your location... so will drop it off when it occurs to me.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
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